Me and my Grandad

Today we say our final farewell to Grandad John and i wanted to reflect on my time and memories we have had.

How can you summarise a lifetime of memories? 32 years from Baby to Adult. Being such a short distance away from their flat i was always visiting after School, College, special occasions and in between. Not to mention the Holidays we all had together to Florida Disney, Spain and in this country too.

It has been a difficult month having to clear out his Flat and belongings, which me and my Parents have done with a bit of help from the Caretaker. Having to go through things modern and over 20 years old that were kept was emotional. I wanted to rehome or donate anything we were not going to personally have. He was a Carpenter by trade as his profession and made a lot of things for the Flat including the Wardrobes over 30 years old. He was proud of them and the Fireplace he made, and i had half of them for my room. My wardrobe was falling apart and it fills me with joy knowing his craftsmanship lives on. I found the App Olio during lockdown last year and have been using it to rehome the extra items. I have rehomed over 150 of Grandads items so far from Vases to Suitcases. This makes me happy to know somewhere in someones home a part of him lives on in his possessions. Compared to us he had little stuff but when your life is in boxes it mounts up.

When the Flat was all clear after the large items were disposed of and the Wardrobes had come down, it was time to close the Door on the Flat for the very last time. Knowing you would never go there again was tear jerking. Just before we left the lock was on so did not close properly, while i unlocked it i noticed something Black behind the Radiator. Just peeking out i went back and it was Grandads Horse Shoe Horn, it must have slipped down. Not sure how the lock got on but must have been fate to not leave it behind.

His home is in our home in things we have kept, long kept items like the Bathroom Cabinet over 30 years old. He recently had a walk in shower put in and the Bathroom redone and he chose to keep it not get a new one. I rescued cleaned it up and is now in our Bathroom. Too many people items would just be junk and thrown, but i couldn’t bear it knowing he kept them all them years.

Although the Flat is no longer Grandads and someone else will move in, the memories in pictures and Video live on. For me it will be the loss of my Playroom which was everything from a Butchers to a Pub. We made loads of Food from Clay and Painted it to look like Meat, Sausages and Cakes. Walls covered in drawings i did and jokes from the Newspapers. It was full of knick knacks and once full to the brim with those wooden model kits. Animals, Insects, Dinosaurs, Fish and hanging Birds which we both painted and made together. K`nex was a big thing we made a Ferris wheel and had loads of fun with it. In later years as i grew up and went to College the room became less used and a bit more empty.

When i was younger for a while we started drawing packets of Food products and i stuck them on the wall, we coloured them in with pencils i brought from whsmith. Grandad later would draw all the Seaside postcards we had collected the Saucy ones on Paper and kept in a folder. We still have these.

The last use of the room besides storage was for my model Train layout. Grandad enjoyed and helped make the layout, taking most of the room which was always in a state of construction. The memories alone in that room are enough to make you emotional.

Grandad was an almost identical twin and they both served in the War in Korea. He did not speak about it much to me but he did wear his veteran badge with pride. He lived through the 2nd world war as a Child and his professional life as a Carpenter. He worked with his Brother David and Peter doing Carpentry for exhibitions stands and metal sheet working. I would have loved to see some of their work. He always had a Cupboard with his work Tools and his Case which i kept.

For me he was my Grandad but he had many roles: a Father, Husband, Brother, Father in law, Grandad, Cousin, Friend.

Grandad had a few phrases he used a lot like Twist when he farted lol “its all the same when the lights are out" "Watcha been out" "going for a Shit, Shave and a Shampoo" " when i say jump, you say how high" " I may be old but i`m not Dead”

He has always had a sense of humour being able to laugh at even serious matters. And always calm and collective. He would bite my Ear when i was young and rub his Beard stubble on my Face. When i was rolling around on the floor he would put his Foot on my Belly and say Jelly wobble. Later in life he would always look to a funnier side of things with health and situations. A time when he was in Hospital and they closed the ward with him in it, and a Nurse went to Bed in the Bed next to him snoring lol. And them moving him with a Drip in him having to drape over a Coat to move to another Ward in December. He says that they transferred him in a 1960s Ambulance.

I got 32 years with Grandad and only 16 with Nan they both meant so much to me as a Teenager and now an Adult. As an Adult i now can feel the complete sense of loss for Grandad and Nan. Time is so precious as they say and i am lucky to have been born in this generation where Cameras and Videos were emerging and around. We were able to make silly plays and recordings, dances and Family special occasions all on vhs ( yes video tape) now in this era we can use our Phones to do it all.

I will forever have the Video recordings of all the things we did, from Beauty & The Beast to Wizard of Oz and random made up films. Halloween parties round the flat to escape the trick or treaters on our street. WE would play pass the parcel often and mum wrapped up an Egg, a Teabag and ketchup packets. Grandad would make some Deadmans fingers a Cheesy Scone like recipe for Halloween. I remember him making them and wrapping them in foil in the Cupboard like a big Cigar.

Grandad was as they say in the name like a 2nd Dad Building things with me, whereas Nan would play with me Dance around and Dress up. Grandad was always supportive of everything i done and got involved as much as possible. When Mum and Dad were on Holiday in Spain i remember him booking a Taxi and we took the Bus back from Eastham to when i was to do a Market at the Red door studios which i was supplying the Cafe for the event. With no Car he helped me take the stuff there and home so i did not miss the event.

From a young age of 4 or 5 i was fascinating with Plastic Food and Supermarket conveyor belts and had tons of Plastic Foods i brought. Funny how as an adult i am a huge Foodie but was a fussy eater as a child. Food has always been around in my life going to college to study Catering and cooking/Baking with Nan and Grandad. We made a Cooking show called Cooking 4 u where the 3 of us would make dishes. Grandad did all the cooking anyway, Nan didn’t care for cooking. We filmed it and often had funny outtakes and dishes. One of these was Stuffed Peppers, stuffed with Rice and Cream. Grandad had not reduced it enough so it literally was Rice and Cream in a Pepper we laughed and did not eat it lol. We ended up getting Chips across the road. Nan enjoyed making Shortbreads and got Grandad to make her some Tealoaf, and wouldn’t let him have any lol. We made Pizza together and ended up being a thing, we made it a few times and even went to Pizza hut several times the 2 of us. I would have a Chocolate Fudge Cake and would order a Hawaiian Pizza

(Yes Pineapple on a pizza Yes) it was a nice treat the 2 of us. Later in years we got onto him making Pies we would call it his desperate Dan Pies, often Steak and sometimes Tinned Chicken. Although he brought the filling and pastry always enjoyed them. He would serve a big piece on the Sunday dinners thus the name. he brought Baking Beans and often asked my advice about them. Food has a connection for people and makes great memories.

For as long as i can remember we have gone alternate Sundays and every Year on Boxing Day for Dinner. I would have an Angel delight made for me in many flavours i can remember, Peach Melba, Chocolate Mint, Strawberry, Banana, Chocolate, Butterscotch, Raspberry from Sainsburys own brand. I wish they made them still now. This was when i was small and growing up, as i started to bake i would bring something for Dessert for us all. Boxing Day dinner was always a tradition at Grandads place. only missed twice in 32 years. He would get the drink and meal and one time he misread the Drink and it was a thick Smoothie lol. He brought a Fresh Cream Gateau thinking it was long lasting and it went Sour so we called it sour Cream Gateaux. We had a lot of ready made Desserts especially from Iceland with Fruits on top. Grandad would always misjudge the defrosting times and the Fruit would be icy still. I dubbed it Fruits of the Artic Gateaux.

Grandad would often buy Aunt Bessies Roast potatoes or Yorkshires and her Desserts for the Dinner and we joked he loved Aunt Bessie. I found out their was an Aunt Bessie fan club, mum phoned them up and said he loved their products and they sent him a Tea towel, pencil and some vouchers. Not sure what happened to the Tea towel but i brought another off Ebay as a keepsake of that funny time.

Sometimes i can remember having a Fruit Cocktail with Ice cream for Dessert and all hunting for the Cherry. Their was always a Tin in the Cupboard and after Nan passed away Grandad kept it in there. 5 years later and one day it exploded in the Cupboard all running down the wall.

Food has always been an integral part of my life bonding us all with memories and meals. We had many Meals out in Harvesters and Toby Carveries and on holiday. Many special occasions Grandad & Nan would come here for a meal and entertainment like pass the parcel and Dancing/singing. I would make the Dessert often later in life and Grandads Birthday Cakes. Memories of food on holidays also we was lucky to have, i stayed with Nan/Grandad alternating to mum/Dads room and they had an Ice Bucket for the Milk so they could have their Weetabix in the morning.

I remember Nanny asking for a Burger in Pizzahut the waiter joked for her to get out hahaha. Grandad getting tongue tied about this Country style omelette we did laugh Granny’s Country style omelette. Nanny saying she liked the Restaurants own BBQ sauce and shell have to get one of them when she gets home lol.

I have been lucky to go away on Holiday with my Grandparents 3 times to Disneyworld and to Spain also. We have some wonderful photos and memories together. We got caught in a tropical storm in Epcot Disney park. Disney was a lot of fun and something they would not have experienced themselves. At the water parks Grandad left his wallet in his pocket and i remember him having to dry out his Dollars on the Air con in the room. On the lazy river tubes i was always sneaking behind him and pushing him under the waterfall. He lost one of his Rings in that lagoon and i remember the wave pool pushing us over and he fell on top of me underwater !

He wore a pair of bright Green Shorts which he kept to this day, i now have them for a keepsake. The flat was covered in photos from Holidays to pictures we had taken lots of wonderful moments we had altogether. Their are so many memories like that we have.

In the summer or when it was nice we would go over the Park, i brought a Badminton set and we played that. One time the Shuttle got stuck in the Tree and Grandad took off his Shoe and chucked it up. I remember Nan saying his Shoe would also get stuck, and imagined him walking home with 1 Shoe on. We also had many trips to the Seaside Clacton, Margate and Gt Yarmouth with our picnic on the Beach. Throwing Stones in the Water and collecting Shells. We would have a go at the Amusement arcades along the front. We would end with an Ice cream we brought in Iceland or the Supermarket a Cone or Majestic. I would sing in the Car ride to Celine Dion and remember him covering his Ears lol

I was lucky to have so many years together with them both and for Grandad to accept and always support me he got to meet Ryan and come to my Civil partnership and accepted him as another Grandson. He got to see my achievements with my little Jam and Cake business and he even brought me my 1st Cake stand!

He got to see me and Mum on the Tv on Supermarket sweep and hope he was proud of all i had done. I found cuttings from Newspaper articles i and mum had been in, inside a drawer from my community volunteering days.

In the last year his health deteriorated i saw him less and with Covid made it even harder. I was able to spend some time when things relaxed and i will always remember how happy he was to see and gave me a hug. This pulls on my heartstrings just thinking about it. He would always ask me about work, what i was up to and also about my partner Ryan. We were a very close family which makes it very hard with his passing away.

He loved Horse racing and was often over the betting shop Ladbrokes and had lots of wins over the years. I remember me picking out a horse Blue Tomato and it won. He kept lots of betting slips in the Cabinet ready to place over the road. He also never wore Jeans said he would like like a wally lol. He always had his Grey/stone Trousers on always smartly dressed and Flatcap in later years. I can remember him giving us a share of the Money and then Nan said. ” Don`t forget you owe me 50p lol”

We also grew stuff on the Balcony we built a wooden box to grow Carrots in and Parsnips. They were the smallest things ever and the Parsnips were curly. We had Tomato plants and ripened them wrapped in Newspaper. Later in years after Nan passed away it moved to Flowers which he had changed and grown since.

I never imagined a life without you in it, even as you got older and you will be greatly missed by many. Hard to even think it has been a month since you have been gone. Today we all get the chance to say goodbye for the last time and thankful in these times of Covid we are able to do so. Rest in peace and hope you are betting on the Horseraces in the sky.